Unconditional Love
What is unconditional love exactly? What does this mean to you? In the dictionary the meaning of unconditional love is the act of loving someone without strings, expectations, or limitations, accepting them fully including their flaws and mistakes. Often described as a "state of being" or compassionate "agape" love. It involves consistent, free giving of affection and support, common in parent-child bonds and aimed at creating a safe space for vulnerability. However, if you really think about it, many people are not operating from this way of being. We grew up learning how to love with conditions. We are born loving unconditionally ourselves and others, but then we learn from our parents that we are not good enough just as we are, as there are expectations of us or else love is withdrawn. We also learned that our innocent mistakes made our parents or elders very angry and therefore made us feel shame and guilt. We were taught about God as a man in the sky who punishes those who sin by burning them in hell.
Growing up, I asked a lot of questions and many times I can remember getting laughed at for coming up with these great big questions at such a young age. I questioned why a loving God would create us this way, yet burn people in hell if they lost their way. I could not understand why bad things happened to good people. I questioned why women needed to suffer and keep their mouths shut to keep the peace in the home, and push their dreams aside being told it was no longer about them once they were married with children. I was told as a young woman that if I didn’t stop being “so picky” and settle down already than I would never get married. These are just some of the things I look back on now amazed at how far away from the truth people had drifted.
I had never felt such an intense love until I “fell in love” at the age of 19 with my very first committed relationship. It was so enticing and blissful that nothing else mattered to me except being with him. At the young age of nineteen, neither one of us had a clue about what a healthy relationship would entail. We were just riding the intensity wave of love. Until we crashed. The drama started, emotions were high, and there was a lot of external influences involvement. Many friends and family loved to tell us what we should have or shouldn’t have done which would cause more confusion and chaos. There was definitely a lot of ups and downs, but no matter what I knew in my heart that nothing would stop me from loving him, and that remains true to this day. However, the world teaches us to bury the truth because it is not looking like how “people” think it should look or be, which makes us question ourselves to the point that we don’t even know if we can trust our deepest feelings. It wasn’t safe to trust our heart so we pushed it all down, stayed quiet and instead tried to fit in with what was acceptable to others out there.
Most of us think we have unconditional love for our children. We know in our hearts that no matter what, we will always love our children. Some of us have this love for our parents. What about for ourselves? This is where the truth has been buried. We are taught all the reasons why we are not good enough. We are taught why we should feel guilty, shameful, and fearful for the things we have done that made other people uncomfortable, upset, or angry. So we learned to stay quiet, and slowly we dimmed our light, and swallowed our truths, and became a shell of what we once were. Then there was the alcohol, which would help us to open up a little bit, then too much, until we became an exaggeration of our truth or the negative repressed emotions showed up. I can promise you, there is a better way to live. This is the past. You have a choice. Haven’t you had enough? This is YOUR life. Don’t you want to live it YOUR way with YOUR truth? YOUR dreams and desires? Are you waiting around for someone or something to save you from your feelings, your emotions, and your bad days?
Karma shows up as a result of our past negative choices. Karma plays out from our past negative thoughts feelings, and emotions towards ourselves, others, and the world. Karma does not exist in unconditional love. Unconditional love starts with self. Self-love is connecting with God/Universe daily to receive and accept the Love of God. By receiving and accepting, you let it be known to the Universe and then breathe into the stillness and soak up the loving energy. This not only fills your cup, but overflows it out into the world. You are fully supported, complete, and held in the most loving ways. No human can give you this love. It is a love that comes from within and in order for it to grow and expand, one must be open and willing to receive it. Unconditional love than is always the fruit of the decision to love oneself.
This my love, is the truth of who you are, Divine unconditional Love and this is the love you seek. Another body cannot give you what they cannot even give themselves. This life is our journey back to ourselves, which is the Love we seek from God. Then, and only then are we able to truly love others unconditionally understanding that we are all innocent at the core, yet we have free will on this Earth to continue living life as we please, to experience the effects of karma or choosing to go within to transcend karma and live in peace.
The truth shall set you free -John 8:32
The peace that passes all understanding -Philippians 4:7
All my Love,
Marcia